Mike

The desert is amazing. It seems cold, although highs are still in the 70s. It does get to around 50 at night - but still, that's nothing.

The new house is great! We're getting settled, although we wish we had a basement for some of the boxes!

A very, very good bear friend (and bear bondage porn personality) of 15+ years just lost his (legally in CA) husband to pancreatic cancer. We hope he will stay with us for a few days next week - and are open to his presence for the next few months if he needs...

We want to do Thanksgiving in our house this year - even if it's just us. We have some local friends who might join us, but we'll be happy even if it's just us.

Very cool first Friday in our house.
Having a bunch of fun playing our keyboard equipment.

Things are good! We did finally close on the house last Tuesday. It was a quick week, with a trip to Rockford coming up last Friday to go to my great aunt's 100th birthday party.

That meant we didn't really have the time to do the full-fledged move we would need to start living there. In fact that still hasn't happened. John has moved some things there, enough to cook dinner (which he considers a VAST improvement since the house has the dishwasher the apartment lacks).

We've hired our pool man, who is getting things in order. The pool is a little on the cold side, but not enough to keep me from trying the diving board! It was more a belly flop than anything, but still... The hot tub is very nice, and that's something we've never had either.

A locksmith comes tomorrow to change the locks. We're going to key the two gates from the front to the back of the house differently, so that our key will open all locks, but so that we can have a key that just opens the gates for service people (even meter readers, etc.).

And I just remembered that (unlike my former college), MSJC is closed for Veteran's Day on Wednesday, so we will get a day to do the "big move." I think we're going to rent a U-Haul van and then hire one or two of the guys who hang out there to help us for a few hours.

In more melancholy news, a long-time friend just learned that his husband has pancreatic cancer that has already metastasized to the liver and lungs. They are planning to use hospice care. John is considering seeing about staying with him in Sacramento for a little bit until they get things more straightened out.

It's ours and we're filling the hot tub! LOL

Hmmmmm.... Where to start?

I think that in some ways my life would seem pretty boring to most people. Teaching math isn't very exciting, and John and I have been together for almost 18 years now, so there isn't much new going on in the romance department.

I've been thinking lately about how truly amazing it is that we've made this move. I was walking from the parking lot to my office at MSJC the other day and had a profound sense of disconnection. It didn't seem POSSIBLE that I was walking there on the way to my job. What happened to Rockford? Rock Valley College? My life?

I feel so so so lucky. We decided to do this move not knowing whether we would get jobs. John got one right away (even though he ended up resigning), and I got my current position. In this economic climate, that's nothing short of amazing.

Although the house search was a pain in some ways, it was a lot of fun at the same time. It seems that we ended up with probably the best possible house of the whole search too, another "who would have thought" kind of occurrence.

I am a spiritual person, despite my mathematical bent. I think there IS a reality beyond what we can see and measure, even though I have no real evidence of it. And this whole move has reinforced my beliefs. I think we tapped into a universal consciousness or something when we decided to move. We realized the possibility was there, and we hitched our wagon to that energy.

My parents seem to have done the same thing. They completed their move to the Las Vegas area this week, and my mom says she just had the best two nights of sleep that she's had in the last 6 months or so. The fact that I'm only a 4-hour drive away is very reassuring to me. And I think OUR move had a lot to do with THEIR decsion to move, a decision I think was a GREAT one for them.

SO, even though John has been sick this week (with a cold? flu? swine flu? - some of my students have been out with H1N1), and even though my gout has flared up again, in a pretty painful way considering my long Mondays and Wednesdays at the college, I am more and more thankful for my life and the events that have happened in it. I can't imagine a more amazing journey...

We're supposed to close on the house next Friday! We can't wait....

I know I haven't posted in ages. Things are pretty much the same. It looks like the house deal is going to go through, but we're still waiting on loan approval (which our loan guy says will not be a problem).

I've been working on yet another new edition of one of the algebra solutions manuals I write. (It sort of sucks that they now give author credit to the text author instead of me - but you can see my name on the cover. LOL)

When I do one of these, I do a complete solutions manual first. This contains detailed solutions to all problems in the exercise sections of the text. Once this is done, I go back through and delete all the even problems to make a student solutions manual.

Quite a few years back I finally realized that I could reassign the right mouse button to "delete" instead of its usual function. This made the process of getting rid of the even problems SO much faster.

I still get a kick out of it every time I do it. (But I guess that's evidence of my math geekiness and essential quest for all things efficient.)

It only took 6 tries, but we finally had an offer accepted on a house!

These are former listings, made before the house was a foreclosure. We paid less than 1/2 of the higher of these two listing prices.

http://desertareamls.rapmls.com/scripts/mgrqispi.dll?APPNAME=Desertarea&PRGNAME=MLSLogin&ARGUMENT=E8MVZusT6FFNe%2BQKNgdbzWJ8jGmk%2BTYXv6N9qLiT%2FC8%3D&KeyRid=1&Include_Search_Criteria=

http://desertareamls.rapmls.com/scripts/mgrqispi.dll?APPNAME=Desertarea&PRGNAME=MLSLogin&ARGUMENT=E8MVZusT6FFNe%2BQKNgdbzQtFCAcgN7BX8W9p7gSrKTM%3D&KeyRid=1&Include_Search_Criteria=


We're very excited about the house. It is a house by the architect Alexander, and it is an example of a classic 1950s Palm Springs design. A few years ago we sort of dreamed of owning one, but figured they would always be way too expensive for us to buy.

The Labor Day weekend trip to Ohio for my aunt's memorial service proceeded smoothly. It was a very nice service. I think she would have liked it.

We saw my family again and met my sister's new boyfriend. It seems like they complement each other well, and neither John nor I got any weird vibes from him. Actually, it was more positive than that, but the no weird vibes thing always seems like a big plus to me.

I've given my first round of tests at MSJC and have even graded some classes. It's still too early to know for sure, but it seems my College Algebra classes have done better than typical classes at RVC would have done on the same test.

I finally had a math department meeting last Friday, and am happy to say it was fun. There was a decent amount of good-natured teasing with plenty of inside jokes, so I feel much better about how I will fit in there. We picked classes for the spring. My schedule will be similar, but better:

MWF 9:30-10:45 and 11:00-12:15 College Algebra
MW 1-2:20 Prealgebra

TTh 4:00-5:50 p.m. Elementary Algebra
TTh 7:00-8:20 p.m. Prealgebra

I'm glad I am keeping some College Algebra and Prealgebra, since I'm teaching them now.

House hunting is still fun, but is also still ongoing. We've made FIVE offers, with none of them accepted. Our agent is joking we should hire ourselves out to sellers because the minute we decide to bid on a house, they seem to get 4 more offers.

There is a nice Alexander (foreclosure) we're going to bid on tomorrow. It's in much better condition than some of the foreclosures we've seen. Of course, that means there will be lots of competition for it. We're going to bid pretty aggressively from the start. I'm thinking at least $280,000 and maybe $300,000. (There is NO WAY it will go for anything near the list price.) It's got a HUGE yard and pool and a great view.

So we'll see what happens. Maybe the 6th time's the charm! LOL

Thanks for all the supportive comments about my aunt. I really do appreciate the positive thoughts and think they really do make a difference.

Today we looked at a house in a development in the northern part of Palm Springs, Mountain Gate.

Mountain Gate tends to generate strong opinions in Palm Springs. We've heard all about the wind there (since it's on the north end of town, it's windier). There are concerns about whether property there will appreciate as much as property in the rest of Palm Springs. On the other hand, we put in an offer on a Verbana floor plan foreclosure at about 2100 square feet, with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, for $235,000. And we're pretty sure we're the highest offer and will get the house.

This is HUGE compared to our house in Rockford. And it's practically new. We are planning to paint and put in new flooring, but it's beautiful, with lots of space for keyboards and entertaining.

There is no pool or spa, but there's plenty of room, and we're buying the place for $100,000 less than other places we were looking at.

I think we'll go ahead with it.

So I'm excited about the house, and going to Big Bear Lake this weekend, at the same time that I'm still upset about my aunt's death.

My brother and sister are stepping forward to volunteer to take on roles I would usually take on, and I'm extremely happy and proud of that.

So life goes on. We all make choices to live life one day at a time, and hopefully we're aware of that as we do so.

Most of yesterday was a good day.

The good part is probably summed up best by a quote from a student after a prealgebra class I spent teaching how to add and subtract positive and negative numbers.

"Do you have to take some sort of Zen patience class to become a math teacher, or do you just do it naturally?"

The bad part takes a little longer.

Wednesday is one of my long days (Monday is the other), teaching 4 classes (each either 75 or 80 minutes long) between 9:30 a.m. and 6:50 p.m.

My brother Murray called just after my office hours, but before my last class, at about 4:45 or so. We chatted a bit and shared what was going on in each other's lives.

He called back a little later to say he had just had a strange call from my dad. It seems my mom had talked to her sister Saturday, but that she hadn't been able to get in touch with her since then. In addition, a former high school classmate had been trying to call my aunt, and my aunt hadn't returned the calls, which the classmate said was strange for my aunt.

I suggested to Murray that mom and dad could have the police do a safety check, which he had already told them about. He'd even looked up the number for them online.

As I was driving home after class, my dad called me. They had called the sheriffs' department, and had received a call back saying that there was no sign of forced entry, that a dog was inside barking, and that a car was in the garage. Nobody answered the door, and with no probably cause they could not break in.

This frustrated my dad, who eventually spoke to a supervisor. When my dad brought up the possibility that she could be laying dead inside the house, he was told that the deputy hadn't smelled anything at the house. Even worse, it was suggested that maybe my aunt had gone off with a boyfriend for a day or two. I totally understand why the police couldn't go in the house, but I thought these comments were incredibly insensitive to a worried family 500 miles away.

My dad said they were going to leave the next morning (today) to drive the 500 miles to the Columbus, OH, area to see what was going on. All I could think about was how I would definitely be going with them if I still lived back there. My dad shouldn't have to try to crawl through a broken window to see if his sister-in-law is dead in her house.

Just after getting home, I got another call from my dad. They had called my aunt's son-in-law (her late husband's son), who had also called the sheriff. I guess he must have communicated more effectively, as they sent another squad car and a fire truck to my aunt's house.

They used the fire truck ladder to look in the upstairs windows and found my aunt laying on her bathroom floor, dead.

It's still hard to believe. She was 64, but in pretty good health, at least in appearance. She was my mom's little sister, her only sibling, and they were very close. The hardest part is knowing how upset my mom must be. The next hardest part is being here, 2000 miles away.

Janet was a great person, a fun aunt to have. She was always totally accepting of John and me as a couple, and John is upset about her death as well. My best memories of her were Thanksgivings and Christmases, when she would fly TWA from Columbus to Chicago. She'd always get those little kid packets filled with airplane things for us.

Mom and dad are still driving to Ohio today. Thankfully, my brother is driving them there.

I'm doing OK, but wish I could be there physically for my mom and dad.

The first week of classes is always pretty hectic, with many students confused about when and where their classes meet, and some students still trying to finalize a class schedule.

MSJC has been one of the fastest-growing community college districts in the entire country for the last couple of years. When you add this to the way that CA funds its community colleges, and the current CA state budget crisis, you get an increased number of students trying to get into a decreased number of class sections.

This means that I have had to say no to a lot of students, despite having exceeded my (too high in my opinion) maximum class size of 40 students in most of my classes.

However, classes started out very well. The students here are about the same as the students I had back at RVC. The drive isn't that bad, although I will work on getting a 4-day schedule for the spring semester. I'm getting used to teaching in 3 different buildings, with my office in a fourth. (I definitely need to put sunscreen on my head on Mondays and Wednesdays, the days I move around the most.)

John and I are having fun looking for a house, even though it is a little frustrating in this market in our price range.

We put in an offer on a house last weekend that ended up needing about $4800 in roof repairs (plus all appliances, plus some pool repairs, etc). This, coupled with the fact that the bank (foreclosure property) said it wasn't really happy with any of the offers it received (ours was for about $45,000 more than the asking price), led us to withdraw our offer. They either want more than we can afford, or they're playing games, and neither works for me.

Earlier this week we put in an offer on this house. We really like it, but realize that it might not work out either. Our realtor doesn't think this will be as susceptible to a bidding war, but we'll see. Here is a link to a pre-foreclosure listing of the same house.

We went to a Palm Springs Bears pool party last night. It was fun, and definitely something we would have never been able to do in Rockford!

Finally, we're looking forward to going to Big Bear Lake next weekend, during Big Bear Adventure Weekend. Some friends from Rockford who now live here know somebody who has a time share up there, and they offered to share it with us. They're not really into the bear scene, but will probably attend some events with us. We're not even registering for the whole event, as I'm afraid our days of going to late-night dances are pretty much over! John wants to try a jet ski and is telling me I have to as well. We'll see. :-)

It's been crazy busy lately.

I've been

(1) working on solutions manuals
(2) writing course syllabi and homework lists to get ready for classes
(3) submitting paperwork for mortgage preapproval
(4) getting TB tested and fingerprinted for the new job
(5) applying for CA plates and dirve's license
(6) attending beginning of the semester meetings at the new college

AND we looked at houses today with Paul Kaplan. He's a great realtor.

We saw this house today and really liked it. It's a foreclosure which is sure to have a bidding war. When we checked, there were already 5 offers in. We're going to offer towards the top of what we think we can really afford, because we think the property will be worth it. So we'll offer $325K. I still doubt we'll get it for that, but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

The house is in escrow. But we're meeting with a realtor tomorrow! (Paul Kaplan)

We found a house on MLS that seems good. I hope we can get in to see it soon!

http://desertareamls.rapmls.com/scripts/mgrqispi.dll?APPNAME=Desertarea&PRGNAME=MLSPropertyDetail&ARGUMENTS=-N158130119,-N277901,-N,-A,-N26551139

Yesterday (August 1) was my birthday, and John and I celebrated by going to dinner at Dink's in Palm Springs. It's a nice restaurant, with a cool interior and great view of the mountains.

I had made our reservation online, and when we arrived, the hostess asked if we wanted to be seated right away, or have a cocktail. We thought cocktails sounded like a FABULOUS idea.

So we ordered some cocktails at the bar (me - a black Russian made with vanilla vodka, and John - Absolut Citron and club soda). We then made our way over to a section of the place more like a cocktail lounge, with cool low couches and cocktail tables.

We sat at one of the couches and talked, and as we talked, John put his arm around my back.

It felt so natural, and so good, and after a few minutes, John couldn't help but notice how he wouldn't have felt comfortable doing that ANYWHERE back in Rockford.

The sad thing is, I totally agree with him. Well, I suppose at The Office (a gay bar). But at even the TRENDIEST of restaurants in Rockford, I would have felt a twinge of worry if he had done the same thing.

I know that the "gay thing" is still hard for much of America to understand, or even tolerate. And I get that. But MY reality is that I've been with the person I love and want to spend my life with for going on 18 years now, and I don't feel that I can express ANY physical affection towards him, in public, in most places in the United States.

And I'm not talking about French kissing. I'm talking about something as basic as walking down the sidewalk holding hands.

So yesterday brought up those feelings. It was GREAT being able to be affectionate in public and not worry about the consequences.

And then I wondered, are we living in what some call a "gay ghetto." And if we are, is that bad?

Today is August 2, and I arrived in Palm Springs a month ago on July 2. Since I've been a full-time resident of the desert for a month, I thought it might be worthwhile to list some things I have learned in the last month.

• It gets hot here in the summer. LOL


• EVERYTHING gets hot here in the summer, especially


• Car seats


• Car door handles


• The concrete around the swimming pool


• The railing next to the steps that go down into the swimming pool




• Hats and sunglasses are not necessarily fashion items


• You set the air conditioning temperature lower that you usually would, so that it can "catch up" at night


• You put the top down on convertibles only at night during July and August


• Watch out for "palmetto bugs" climbing into your drink at the side of the pool at night


• Cocktails disappear much more quickly (especially draft beer in plastic cups, always my nemesis!)


• Buffet lunches are no longer that appealing


• Cars don't get dirty, as much as dusty


• Fans actually do something


• You get cold when getting out of the pool, even if the temperature is 115 degrees


• "It's not the heat, it's the humidity" is more true than I ever thought possible


• You can go outside and have a very pleasant evening once the sun goes down, even when temps are at their highest

I'm still new to the desert, so I will undoubtedly have more to say as the summer progresses. In the balance, though, I LOVE it here, and am overwhelmingly happy that we've embarked on this adventure!

Things have been going well.

I know my fall teaching schedule - 3 sections of College Algebra for 4 credit hours each, and 2 sections of Prealgebra for 3 hours each - 18 hours total.

Mondays and Wednesdays are long days, from 9:30 until about 7 p.m. I only have one class TTh, from 8-10 a.m., and 2 on Friday from 9:30-12:15. I'll probably do some office hours each day M-Th, with none on Friday.

The house is set to close this Friday, with no impediments in sight. The proceeds should be wired into our newly opened Wells Fargo account here.

We went to the Phoenix area this past weekend, so that our friend Bill could fly from Mesa to Rockford today (Monday). We stayed at The Arizona Royal Villa II and had a great Saturday night at Organ Stop Pizza in Mesa.

I go to a title company in Palm Springs on Wednesday to sign my part of the paperwork for the closing. We are planning to go to Fontana, CA, to pick up the contents on my moving "cube" on Thursday. I need to be available Friday afternoon in case there are any issues with the actual closing.

John and I were in our apartment's pool tonight. I had a cocktail sitting on the edge (whiskey and diet coke). Thank God I looked over at the drink just in time to see a big palmetto bug (big cockroach) scurry over the lip into my drink. I'm just glad I saw it BEFORE I took another sip. I still get the shivers just thinking of it.

John and me at Campit Resort near Saugatuck, MI, in May:



( Here are a few pics from the last couple of months: )

It was a little surreal.

I knew that MSJC was closed on Fridays. I sent an e-mail to the VP of HR earlier in the day on Thursday, asking about the status of the mathematics position, since I was driving myself crazy.

We went to the bear gathering at Koffi (every Thursday from 6-7), our first time, where we were totally ignored.

Then we started wandering through Villagefest in Palm Springs. At about 7:00, John said "Is that your phone ringing?"

It was - Indigo Girls "Hammer and a Nail".

I looked at the screen and saw the 951 area code and thought "Oh my God - MSJC!"

And it was the woman I've usually talked to, who said she always thinks my answering the phone is just voice mail, offering me the job!"

Of course, I accepted. There is some confusion about my post-master's credit hours. She said she counted 43 at NIU, but I only took 32. If there is some sort of 4:3 ratio, that would work, but I just don't know.

My salary might go down a little, but I don't care. We're set, and we can make things work now, and our new life can begin.

I am SO TOTALLY happy right now.

Thanks to all for all the positive thoughts, prayers, and energy. I've always known that lots of people were pulling for me, and I really feel like I can totally start our new life here now.